10 Important Educational Activities for Preschoolers

Amelia Harper
source: CW

1. Teach them to say the alphabet.
One of the best ways to do this is by using the old "Alphabet Song." I like to add my own touch to make it more special. (It would never fly in a classroom these days, but that is the beauty of homeschooling.) My kids loved this version:
A-B-C-D-E-F-G. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P, Q-R-S, T-U-V, W-X, Y and Z;
Now I know my abc's; can I have a hug now, please?

2. Recognize a few letters of the alphabet.
Use games and simply point out letters everywhere you go. Children love to learn the letters in their own names.

3. Let your children see you read, and read to them often.
As you read, put your fingers under the words sometimes. This helps children understand the concept of reading from left to right and also helps them learn to associate words on the page with words that you say.
Don't worry if they are not actually reading yet, but if they do pick up a few words, pause and let them read them. When my children learn simple words such as a, an, the, and God, we let them "help" read a verse at devotions. The use of Rebus books is a great way to introduce pre-reading as well. In the text of rebus books, little pictures function in place of certain words (like a picture of a cat instead of a cat). Even nonreaders can "help read" these books. Ask the librarian in your library's children's department to show you where they are. The most important thing is to help them develop the love of reading.

4. Teach the shapes and colors.
Shape puzzles are a great way to teach the shapes, such as circle, square, etc. Have your children identify shapes in daily life. Colors are even more fun. I know I will get mail for this, but here is a great way to teach basic colors. Get a bag of M&MS ® or other colored candies. Let your preschoolers eat the red ones if they pick them out correctly. Then look for the yellow ones, etc. Candy is a great motivator. Also, discuss names of colors as they use crayons. Older siblings are great at teaching this one.

5. Teach them to sort objects.
A great many sorting and matching games are out there, but you can do this in real life too. Let them help sort socks. As you unpack groceries, let your preschoolers sort the canned veggies from the canned fruit. Let them sort the M&MS® by color. (M&MS® are very educational!)

6. Teach them about spatial relationships.
This is a fancy way of saying to teach them concepts such as "over," "under," "in," and "out." An introduction to "opposites" often works well as you teach these concepts. Stuffed animals are great tools with which to teach this skill (e.g., Is Harvey Hare over or under Martha Mouse?).

7. Teach them to count to 10.
Again, you will have opportunities to do this every day. "How many plates are on the table? Let's count them!"

8. Help your preschoolers develop motor skills.
Throw balls; color with crayons and markers; cut with children's scissors. Many of these simple childhood activities build fine-motor skills that are essential when your child later learns to write.

9. Develop a good vocabulary and use it around your kids.
According to the Children's Defense Fund, by the time a child from a middle-class family enters first grade, he has a vocabulary of about 20,000 words. However, a child from a low-class family knows only about 5,000 words.1 The truth is, class should not matter. If your vocabulary is not large, expand it and talk to your child as you would an adult--within reason.

10. Use good grammar around your children.
Many children are handicapped educationally because they did not have good grammar models in the home. You will make the teaching of English so much easier if your child knows what proper grammar sounds like. If you are not sure yourself, then get a book on the topic and learn. Listen to good books on tape, and listen to intelligent, excellent media. You will soon get the hang of it, and your child will too.

Footnote:
1. <http://www.tcf.org/Publications/Education/UniversalPreschool.pdf>
Amelia Harper is a homeschooling mother of five and pastor's wife. She is the author of Literary Lessons from the Lord of the Rings, a complete one-year literature curriculum for secondary level students. She is also a freelance writer for newspapers and magazines. http://www.homescholarbooks.com. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MiddleEarthMom

5 STEPS TO OVERCOMING MINISTRY OBSTACLES

Ever notice that when God is blessing your ministry the most, troubles follow? Your church is growing, but you desperately need a new building. New people are coming to Christ, but you now need to disciple them. You're tackling some of the greatest evil giants of your community, and now they're starting to tackle back.

Maybe you're feeling like Joshua. As God was leading Israel into one of the greatest eras of its history – the conquest of the Promised Land – Joshua was chosen to lead the charge. Yet in the midst of this great time of success came one of the greatest challenges of his life. There were seven larger and stronger nations already there. If he was going to fulfill God's call on his life, he'd have a big obstacle to overcome first.

That's when God gave Joshua a five-point strategy for success that still works today.
Be clear in your direction.
In the first four verses of Joshua 1, God specifically outlines when and where Joshua is going. He knew exactly what God wanted him to do.

If you're going to be a leader that God can use, you must first be clear in your direction. I talk to pastors all the time who say, "I really don't know what I want in my ministry." They tend to just drift along. They don't know what they want for their church or family. When you ask them to tell you what their vision is for the church, they respond with something fuzzy and not specific.

We all need a goal, a dream. But those goals must be clear and specific. Nothing becomes dynamic until it becomes specific. And the more specific you are in your direction, the more you'll find a magnetic pull that'll take you along.

Every time I've presented Saddleback with a specific goal, the church has responded in a big way. In 2002 when I challenged the church to start 3,000 small groups, it was a nearly impossible goal. I was as specific as I could be, and the church responded. We started more small groups than we ever had before. Two years later I challenged the church to feed every homeless person in Orange County. That's no small task. But Saddleback reached the goal once I made it specific. When you get specific, people get excited.

Be confident in your desires.

Once you know the direction that God wants you to take, you must have the confidence to move ahead. You can't doubt what God's called you to do. Doubt is the opposite of faith. The Bible says,

"Whatever is not of faith is sin."
Once you've set your goal the devil will get you to start questioning it. Is this really God's will? What if I'm wrong? Do I really deserve this? Am I just being selfish or prideful?
Evidently this was a real problem for Joshua. He lacked confidence. He felt inadequate in his leadership. Sound familiar? I've identified with Joshua many times. God had to keep giving Joshua a pep talk. Four times in Joshua 1, God says, "Be determined and confident."

Why? It isn't the obstacles that keep you in the desert. It's fear. Fear keeps you from being all that God wants you to be. It's fear that keeps your church from growing how God wants it to grow. You must be confident in your desires.
Be committed to your decisions.

Once you've started, don't look back. Joshua 1:9 says "Do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." God says stick with it. To be a success in life, you must outlast your critics. An oak tree is a little nut that refused to give its ground. Commitment is a key to accomplishment. If you don't have commitment to your ministry, you'll never finish anything.

What are you committed to? What are you willing to die for? Many people in your church are afraid to commit to anything. They begin one job and when it gets tough, they switch to something else.

When high achievers make a decision, they die by it. You can't just jump across a canyon with several baby steps. You have to commit yourself to your goal. If you're going to cross a canyon, you've got to go for it with gusto. It won't work until you commit to making it work.

Be corrected by your defeats.
In chapter 1, verse 7, God tells Joshua, "Be strong and courageous. Be careful to obey all the law. Don't turn from it to the right or to the left that you may be successful wherever you go." He tells Joshua not to get sidetracked. When you have a failure, get back on track. Let God's Word help you reorganize your ministry and your priorities. Mistakes are a part of life. You're not perfect. The pencil eraser industry was built on your mistakes. If there weren't such things as mistakes, we wouldn't have any need for erasers.

The difference between successful and non-successful people is not that successful people don't fail. They do. It's just that successful people learn from their failures. Corrections after defeats are the key to the future. Thomas Edison once said, "Don't call it a failure; call it an education." At Saddleback, our staff is highly educated! We've done more things that didn't work than did.

We're not afraid to admit it when we've made a mistake and to learn from it. The road to success is paved with failure. But we've learned from those failures.
Joshua did too. Remember the story of Ai, the little dinky town that the Israelites came upon after their great victory at Jericho. They'd just taken on the greatest, most fortified city in the land (Jericho) and God had given a tremendous victory. They were getting a little confident and cocky. Then they began to presume upon God's grace. When they had to take the little city of Ai, Joshua said, "Go out with a small battalion of troops." They went out and were absolutely wiped out. When the news came back to Joshua, he threw himself onto the ground and prayed. He asked God what happened.

God tells him to get up, dust himself off, and get the sin out of the camp. Don't just pray – do something. They later discovered that Achan had stolen three things even though God had said not to take plunder. Because he hid those things, his sin was causing the entire camp to suffer.
But Joshua had to discover the problem and take appropriate action. He learned by his defeats.
Be conscious of God's dependability.

God promises enormous benefits in his Word as we trust him and follow him. Joshua 1 is full of God's promises. He specifically promises Joshua four things:

Power: In verse 5 God says, "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so I will be with you. I will never leave you or forsake you." God tells Joshua to trust him and he'll provide all of the power he could ever need.

Protection: He tells Joshua that nothing can harm him. In verse 5 he says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." He'll be with him always and protect him.

Prosperity: God says in verse 8 "Don't let the book of the law depart from your mouth. Meditate on it day and night. Be careful to obey everything written in it. Then you'll be prosperous and successful." Prosperity is being everything God wants you to be, having God's blessing your life, and using the talents he has given you. God guarantees that you'll have more than you need if you trust in him.

Presence: That's the best promise of all. In Joshua 1:9 God says, "I will be with you wherever you go." Many times I've felt lonely in ministry, but God always gives me a new sense of his presence when I trust him.

God wants you to have success in ministry. He may not define it the way you do, but he wants you to have his best. As a pastor or key leader in your church, he wants you to help lead people to tackle the great giants of your community. Follow these five principles and he'll give you everything you need to succeed.

BY RICK WARREN

THAT NOTHING BE WASTED!!

My dear friends
May this minister to you as it ministered to me!!!

That Nothing Be Wasted
Submitted by Cliff Sanders on Sat, 02/16/2008 - 15:13.

Americans live in a land of abundance and yet so much is wasted. I believe it was the writer of Poor Richard’s Almanac who quoted the Puritan proverb “waste not – want not”. God our creator values all things. In Jesus’ miracle of multiplication we see the heart of God. In John 6:1-15 a lad gave his meagre lunch to Jesus. Jesus took those five loaves and two fishes and miraculously fed over 5,000 men plus women and children. Twelve baskets of food were left over. Jesus told his disciples to gather up the fragments “so that nothing is wasted” (John 6:12 NLT).

The devil is in the wasting business. Jesus said, “The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy, I have come that they might have life and they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10 NKJV). “The destroyer lays waste at noonday” (Psalm 91:6). Satan wastes lives, dreams, and marriages – God’s work is redemptive so that nothing be wasted. Joel gave us God’s promise to even restore “the years that the locust and cankerworm has eaten” (Joel 2:25-27).

The boy who gave his lunch to Jesus did a remarkable thing. When you give what you have to Jesus, it is never wasted. God will use it in miraculous ways to bless others. That none be wasted is God’s plan and promise. Consider some things that that are never wasted when we give them to Jesus.

First – YOUR LIFE. When you give your life to Christ Jesus, it is never wasted for it is eternal. (John 3:16) When you present your body to God it becomes a living sacrifice to bless others and to glorify God. (Romans 12:1-2)
A young man served God passionately and felt a call to be a missionary. He dedicated his life to that cause but he was tragically killed in one of the school shootings in an American high school. Some would say that his young life was wasted. But God has a purpose for each of His children and brings good out of evil. (Romans 8:28) At his funeral, many of his classmates committed their lives to Christ. Paul the apostle said, “I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him until that day” (II Timothy 1:12 NKJV).

Second – YOUR SORROWS. God doesn’t waste our sorrows. He uses them to build our faith and work God’s grace, character, and eternal purposes into our lives and through our lives. God takes note of our tears and gathers them in His bottle that none be wasted. (Psalm 56:8) He rewards godly tears. (Psalm 126:5; Luke 7:44; II Timothy 1:4) One day God will wipe away all tears from our eyes. (Revelation 7:17; 21:4) Don’t waste your sorrows give them to Jesus.

Third – YOUR PRAYERS. The prayers of God’s children are never wasted. They are collected in golden bowls. They are as incense to God – they are never forgotten and are always active, even after our departure from this earth. (Revelation 5:8; 8:3-4) It would seem from heaven’s standpoint that all spiritual victories are won, not primarily from the pulpit or in the public light, but in the secret place of prayer.

Fourth – YOUR DREAMS AND DESIRES are never wasted when you give them to the Lord. (Psalm 37:4-5) Even if those dreams are not fully realized on earth, God knows our heart and there will be a reward for your godly desires and motives. Even for those whose lives are seemingly cut short on earth there is a great reward. (Hebrews 11:35-40; I Corinthians 3:9-15)
Have you given everything to Jesus Christ? A young martyr for Christ said, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot loose.” When you give your all to Jesus nothing will be wasted.

DO NOT EVER GIVE UP

In one way or another we have all tasted fear -- a near miss on the highway, the crippling panic of a personal loss, or the looming fear of the unexpected.

Very few of us, however, have lived through intense spiritual persecution or the threat of a martyr's death.As God's kingdom grows throughout the world, the Church is enduring oppression and restriction from outside forces that would like to crush it. Our brothers and sisters in far off places know that their faith in Christ could put them -- or their immediate family -- in harm's way.

In the west, we experience hostility because of our faith in a slightly different way. Though we have many freedoms, there is a decided air of resistance to our open expression of faith in this culture. At times this is discouraging or even crippling to us, but we know that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Timothy 1:7, NKJV). In his last letter to Timothy, the Apostle Paul is literally saying, "shake off your timidity. Shake off your fear.

Shake off your discouragement. Don't ever give up."God wants you to trust Him so that you can face your fears in His strength. As He stands beside you, you will be able to serve Him like you never thought possible.

THE FIVE FINGER PRAYER

1. Your thumb is nearest you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C. S. Lewis once said, a "sweet duty."

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God's guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is the fact that this is our weakest finger, as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger - the smallest finger of all which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, "The least shall be the greatest among you." Your pinkie should remind you to pray for yourself.

By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

MOTHERS DAY MESSAGE

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up puke laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, 'It's okay honey, Mommy's here' .

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted. This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpool s and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T. This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at fo otball, hockey or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?' they could say, 'Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world,' and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp th eir feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.

And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.For all the mothers who read 'Goodnight, Moon' twice a night for a year. And then read it again. 'Just one more time.'This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who o pted for Velcro instead.This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls 'Mom?' in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them. For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway?Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And mature mothers learning to let go. For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers withoutThis is for you all. For all of us.

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray.

People

I was sitting watching people, do you ever do that? I realised and always have known that evry persons life is a book a complete story from the time they are born till the day they die.

Every story has so much to tell....pain, sorrow, laughter. Every story has 24 hours of every day to earse the past and begin a new story...God allows us that grace..the grace of erasing our sins by confessing them, and receiving the forgiveness purchased for us on the cross.

What a price He payed, the Son of the Living God, what a gift He gave us, the gift of eternal life.

Of course we are all going to live for ever, either in hell or heaven, I guess the choice is ours.

What will your choice be this week? What lines will you write in the pages of your book. What will the annals of your life speak about?

Let us choose life today, eternal life with Him....He who died for us, rose again on the third day, He is calling you if you have never known Him, if you have but have not walked where you should for a while, go back, repent, receive His forgivness, plug yourself into a good bible based church, and serve Him, serve Him with joy.

Do not look to the left or right, do not focus on the mistakes and challenges others have, serve Him, love His people and as the old old song says....let Him put His Joy in your heart.

Have a fabulous week

Always in friendship
Sharmaine

Angie’s Marriage Column ~ April 23, 2008

Question: Hi Angie - my question is about joy. My husband and I are 9 months into our "recovery" from his affair. We use scripture daily in everything to heal from this. I couldn't ask for a better situation of after it was revealed (he's repented, committed & working every minute on us). I've chosen to forgive yet struggle with unforgiveness still too often and struggle with feelings of love for my husband. Other feelings are progressing slowly but I worry over whether I will "feel" love for my husband ever again where the strings are no longer attached to the past and am trying to understand what joy means to a Christian in the midst of suffering. How does joy & happiness differ, if at all? I know choosing to love is what Christ wants me to do, not rely or wait on the feelings - but I wonder if God loves marriage, would feelings of love be absent if we're obedient in walking with Him? Thank you for your ministry.

Guidance: First of all I would like to say what a wonderful Christ-like example you are showing of forgiveness for other couples who are struggling with the issue of forgiveness in their own marriage. Your willingness to heal yourselves and restore the marriage shows commitment and principled acts of love – both, which are biblical.

The forgiveness you are having a hard time dealing with comes from self. You have chosen to forgive because you know it is the “right thing” to do, but you can’t. That’s typical for imperfect folks as us. We all struggle with forgiveness from time to time. The good news is…”your willingness” to forgive and that is what’s important. Many people are not “willing” to forgive and they remain bitter, lonely, and sad in unforgiveness.

Here’s why you are still struggling with forgiveness. You are still holding onto hurt feelings from the affair your husband had and you’re not ready to give up those feelings yet. The minute we forgive it means we cannot use those hurt feelings anymore to justify ourselves or to verbally abuse others with. But for true forgiveness to happen it takes complete faith and trust in God.

Here is how it works. You give the hurt to God and He will help you forgive. Why do we hold onto the pain and hurt? Because we can use our negative feelings to wield as a weapon against the person who hurt us anytime we want. It is our defense mechanism. So you see, it is a vicious cycle! We must hand it over to God once and for all and let Him deal with it. He said He would. He wants our burdens and then He’ll take care of us.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:29)

As Christ followers we must allow the Spirit of Christ to go to work in our life. It is a big part of our Christian walk. We absolutely need to have faith to give our sufferings to the Lord. And then He will bless us with abundance. Part of that abundance is “joy”!

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith…(Galatians 5:22)

Scripture tells us that we are to trust in God for our daily bread. (Matthew 6:11) Our daily bread comes from the fruit of the Spirit. It is where we receive joy, happiness, hope, love, faith, and forgiveness. He is our Source for comfort and security in a demanding world. This is where many Christians go wrong – they find comfort and security through other sources and then they are not blessed with joy, happiness, hope, love, faith and forgiveness. What’s missing? They are not complete.

God blesses us with everything we need when we follow Him.

“Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full. (John 16:24)

If we dwell on what we think we have “given up” or if we dwell on how much we “give” and do not receive anything in return for our efforts, we will only find more unhappiness and pain. The reason is we are not doing these things out of love but out of negative feelings controlling us. Where is the fruit of the Spirit? The fruits are not apparent because we are living our life to satisfy our own desires – essentially we are still in the “want mode” of thinking, And we have not allowed ourselves to have faith enough to “give up” whatever it is that is holding us back from allowing the Spirit of Christ to go to work in our life.

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. (Galatians 5:24-26)

True joy to a Christian while in the midst of suffering can only be attained through the power of the Holy Spirit within them. Even though they may be suffering, they feel joy in the hope of eternal life with God. And in the comfort of knowing they are doing what is right in the eyes of the Lord.

“Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory. Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls”. (1 Peter 1:8,9)

God loves marriage. He is the Master Designer of marriage. God does not want husbands and wives to hurt one another. Marriage is a living symbol of Jesus Christ and the Church. (Ephesians 5:23-32) Therefore, in regards to your question, “Would feelings of love be absent if you were obedient to God?” The answer is an emphatic NO! On the contrary.

When couples are obedient to the word of God in their marriage, the marriage thrives with abundance! The reason why feelings of love are absent or disappear is because couples are looking out into the world for their answers. They want that “feeling” of love to come back so much that they commit adultery, and or other lustful acts. They let their feelings tell them they are not “in love” with their spouse anymore.

But marriage designed by God is based upon “principled practice of love”. That means, once couples begin to apply “principled acts of love” the fruits of the Spirit begin to become apparent – joy, faith, love, longsuffering, forgiveness, hope, compassion, etc. God blesses couples in marriage with fruits as those above when they base their marriage upon His wisdom and understanding, and not our own.

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:21) (This scripture, if practiced, would be a principled practice of love).

When Church Leaders are an Embarrasment

When Church Leaders Are an Embarrassment
By Rebekah Montgomery

As guest speaker, I often hear sorry tales about church leadership.
Recently, I spoke at a church where their dynamic pastor suddenly left. Church members were puzzled — until unpaid bills and credit card statements began rolling in.
A deacon at another church confided that his pastor demanded raise after raise until the church was virtually bankrupt. Then he left.

No one expects religious leaders to be flawless. No doubt: The Carpenter of Galilee has had to creatively use some rough-cut and irregular blocks to build His Church.
But an embarrassment?
Church sex abuse scandal. Prostitution. Wife abuse. Adultery. Luxurious lifestyles. Exorbitant salaries. Unpaid bills. Malfeasance of church monies.

A gifted, respected leader is exposed as deeply flawed. Then the truth comes out: For a long time, the leader has been living a lie. Others knew — or suspected — but turned a blind eye. When a blind eye is turned to sin, the Church gets a black eye. And Jesus is once again put to public ridicule.

A leader’s fall not only sets tongues wagging, it causes much “collateral damage.” I’ve felt it necessary to apologize to non-Christians and young believers who have been burned by bad behavior on the part of a Christian leader. Some are not just hurt, but turned off to the Gospel and perhaps lost for eternity.

Something Old, Nothing New
The early Church saw a similar situation and the Apostle Peter, who occasionally embarrassed himself, addressed it:

If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. … For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God… (1 Peter 4:15-17 NIV)
If those in leadership don’t live faithful lives, God may have to use a donkey like He did to correct Balaam, the errant prophet — or the local secular news media — or worse to clean out the corruption.

What to Do?
1. Pray for your spiritual leaders.

Let them know you are praying. Ask if they have any needs for which you can pray. If God privileges you to see your leaders’ faults and weaknesses, it is so you can pray with knowledge.

2. Encourage your leadership to be accountable.

Accountability doesn’t mean The Inquisition: It does mean, “… if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1 NIV)

3. Encourage your church leaders to adopt systems that deter temptation.

These are common sense measures such as discouraging male pastors from counseling female parishioners, church checks requiring the treasurer’s signature, etc.

4. Do self-examination.

It is so easy to see the faults and failings of others. Comfortable, too. When we’re shining the spotlight on another’s blemishes, it leaves our warts in the dark. But God sees in the dark. And we need to daily ask Him to show us ourselves in the strongest light we can bear so we also aren’t tempted.

© Rebekah Montgomery 2008

Lets Pray!!

"From all my lame defeats and oh! much more
From all the victories that I seemed to score;
From cleverness shot forth on Thy behalf
at which, while angels weep, the audience laugh;
From all my proofs of Thy divinity,
Thou, who wouldst give no sign, deliver me.

Thoughts are but coins. Let me not trust, instead
of Thee, their thin-worn image of Thy head.
From all my thoughts, even from my thoughts of Thee,
O thou fair Silence, fall, and set me free.
Lord of the narrow gate and the needle's eye,
Take from me all my trumpery lest I die."
~ C.S. Lewis, Poems (New York: Harcourt, 1992, 131.)

Our friend Dave Goosen has shared his special insight with us once again...we love your writing and insight Dave what an awesome brother you are!

Hi Shar

As I was reading your article about eagles by Myles Munroe, I thought about this Scripture:

Isa 40:30 Even the young shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall;
Isa 40:31 but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
What is interesting about this Scripture is the word wait. Those that WAIT upon the Lord. That word wait in the Hebrew means to collect or gather together. We however understand this Scripture as waiting on the Lord, or in other words sit quietly and wait for God to speak. Now this is true, however when we understand that to wait on the Lord also means to collect together or to gather together, then we begin to bring a different understanding to our need to be in Church. The Bible clearly tells us in Hebrews 10:25 not neglect the gathering together of the saints as is the custom of some. Many people see this as a suggestion and not what it really is, an instruction. I always add Leviticus 10:7 to this discussion as it speaks more pertinently about Church attendance. Besides which, If we are Christians, then we need to follow our leader. Who is our Leader - Jesus. If you study His life, you find that He was in Church on the Sabbath as was His custom. (Luke 4:15 & 16).

Now here is where this Scripture really begins to become significant. The Bible says that when we gather together, then and only then will we begin to renew our strength. Then and only then will we find that we develop the attributes of the Eagle. Then and only then, do we experience the ability to rise above every situation and circumstance. So my encouragement to everyone is always this; If you want to be in the place where you constantly have an eagles ability, then ensure that you are always in Church. It is in that corporate anointing that you experience the power of Matthew 18:20.

Well I just thought I would share this with you

We all love the Goosen family!!!

Hugs always

Sharmaine

A FEW PEARLS OF GREAT PRICE

What fun we had at our meeting on Monday evening. How wonderful it is getting to know each other and taking the time to be "intimate". Intimate meaning ..in to me you see .....and we had the opportunity to glimpse into each others lives. How very blessed I am to be surrounded by pearls of such a great price.

Hugs always

Sharmaine

TO ALL MY FRIENDS

Dear Friends,

Tonight I am really missing you all. It was one of those special ministry days, a family we prayed for so much has returned to church and we had a few visitors, however the sweet presence of God was very much present, but after the service I realised something was missing, YOU !!!

How I miss the times we fellowshiped and laughed and shared a pot of tea...hot chocolate....breakfast...lunch....

Know I miss you and have this poem for you:-

I woke this morning and Jesus said to me
Child take care
A friend such as this is hard to find.
One who loves
with such freedom
and abandon
is rare and precious and to valuable to throw around.
My heart broke and I sighed
and wished and prayed
for time to spend with my friends like
this who are hard to find
The Lord took pity and took my hand
and said
My child
they are only as far
as the next prayer away.
My heart lifted and I started to pray with glee
Knowing my friends
My family would receive
my love in letters
dropped into their hearts
each time I took the time to
say a prayer for them.
This is from my heart to you today
I hope all my love is being received through the prayers I pray.

So know I love you all

So does Jesus

Love

Sharmaine

Eagles

Hi Everyone,

I have been wondering and thinking about eagles, so I will just share what Dr Myles Munroe has to say. As you read be blessed!

7 PRINCIPLES OF AN EAGLE
Author Dr. Myles Monroe
1. Eagles fly alone at a high altitude and not with sparrows or mix with other smaller birds. Birds of a feather flock together. No other bird goes to the height of the eagle. Eagles fly with eagles. Never in a flock. Even when Moses (Old Testament Bible) went to commune with God on the mountain, he left the crowd at the foothills. Stay away from sparrows and ravens. Eagles fly with eagles.

2. Eagles have strong vision, which focuses up to 5 kilometers from the air. When an eagle sites prey- even a rodent from this distance, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it. Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

3. Eagles do not eat dead things. He feeds on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals but not eagles. Steer clear of outdated and old information. Do your research well always.

4. The Eagle is the only bird that loves the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the wings of the storm to rise and is pushed up higher. Once it finds the wing of the storm, the eagle stops flapping and uses the pressure of the raging storm to soar the clouds and glide. This gives the eagle an opportunity to rest its wings. In the meantime all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees. We can use the storms of our lives (obstacles, trouble, etc) to rise to greater heights. Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

5. The Eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases until he reaches it and has to catch it before it falls to the ground, then bring it back to the female eagle. The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a much higher altitude pursued by the male until she perceives it high enough, and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of picking the twig which shows commitment, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her! Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

6. Eagles prepare for training. When about to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place very high on a cliff where no predators can reach; the male flies to earth and picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the cliff, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. He flies back to earth picks thorns and lays them on top of the twigs. He flies back to earth and picks soft grass to cover the thorns, and then flies back to pick rugs to put on the grass. When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, lays them on the nest; runs back to get grass and rugs and lays them on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest. The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders. Both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family. She lays the eggs and protects them; he builds the nest and hunts. During the time of training the young ones to fly, the mother eagle throws the eaglets out of the nest and because they are scared, they jump into the nest again.

Next, she throws them out and then takes off the soft layers of the nest, leaving the thorns bare. When the scared eaglets jump into the nest again, they are pricked by thorns. Shrieking and bleeding they jump out again this time wondering why the mother and father who love them so much are torturing them. Next, mother eagle pushes them off the cliff into the air.
As they shriek in fear, father eagle flies out and picks them up on his back before they fall, and brings them back to the cliff. This goes on for sometime until they start flapping their wings.

They get excited at this newfound knowledge that they can fly and not fall at such a fast rate.
The father and mother eagle supports them with their wings.
The preparation of the nest teaches us to prepare for changes;
The preparation for the family teaches us that active participation of both partners leads to success;

The being pricked by the thorns tells us that sometimes being too comfortable where we are may result into our not experiencing life, not progressing and not learning at all. The thorns of life come to teach us that we need to grow, get out of the nest and love on. We may not know it but the seemingly comfortable and safe haven may have thorns;
The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us.

7. When the Eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out. We occasionally need to shed off old habits & items that burden us without adding to our lives...

”As an eagle stirreth up her nest, fluttereth over her young, spreadeth abroad her wings, taketh them, beareth them on her wings:” - Deuteronomy 32:11

So today my friends, SOAR!!!

Remember God loves you, so do I.....and I am eternally grateful for your friendship.

Sharmaine

PALM BRANCH

A very special friend of ours called Dave Goosen who is such an anointed prophetic teacher of the Word and a worship leader sent me this after reading our article about the olive branch:

John 12:12 On the next day, when they heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem, a great crowd who had come to the Feast

John 12:13 took branches of palm trees and went out to meet Him. And they cried, Hosanna! "Blessed is the King of Israel who comes in the name of the Lord!"

Now I am sure that you would probably be as surprised as I was a getting this scripture. Not quite sure how I was supposed to use this, I started a study on the palm tree. What is amazing about a palm tree, is that in Israel, it is a symbol of victory, and any time a Jew carried a palm branch in his hand, he was indicating to the world that he was a person living in victory.

And so this morning, allow me to encourage you with a Word from the Lord, and allow me to offer you this palm branch as a symbol of your victory. Carry it with you wherever you go so that others too may see that you are a victorious Christian.

Well girls pick up your palm branch and start walking through your towns and cities with pride!!!

Lets hope Dave sends us more encouragement

Remember Jesus loves you

Hugs

Sharmaine

OLIVE BRANCHES

I have been thinking about olive branches and olive trees, seeing as someone extended an olive branch to me this week.....

At first I thought a lot about it, and sent them an olive tree, at first thinking that a tree is full of branches so I was extending many branches to them. So I started looking a little more closely at the meaning so here goes:

The olive tree. The biblical olive tree symbolizes fruitfulness and beauty and dignity. 'Extending an olive branch' signifies an offer of peace.

The olive tree. The biblical olive tree symbolizes fruitfulness and beauty and dignity. Extending an olive branch signifies an offer of peace.

How good God is!!!

But this took me on a journey of forgiveness and how very divine it is. What a price Jesus paid for us all on the cross. If He who is the Son of the Living God could die for me and for you, oh my friends who are we to even carry the smallest grudge in our hearts?

What is Christian forgiveness?

Defining Christian forgiveness is done with words and actions. The word “forgive” is a grace word in the English, as well as the Greek, meaning “to give or to grant.” The meaning is “to remit a debt, to give up resentment or claim for requital, or to pardon an offense.”

Christian forgiveness also encompasses action. Our confession with God involves us seeing our sins as He sees it, bringing God’s forgiveness. When we sin against others, we sin against God. For this reason, we ask God to forgive us of our sins, but we must also forgive our fellow man. “But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong” (1 John 1:9).

What guides Christian forgiveness if an offender is not willing to repent, when the victim has done nothing wrong? The Lord commands us to forgive, releasing the offense and the offender to Him. This is done in prayer to the Lord. God recognizes these situations with this Scripture. “Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it is written, ‘I will take vengeance; I will repay those who deserve it,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).

When we have been wronged, and know we did nothing to deserve harsh treatment from the offender, we normally begin to think of retaliation. Retaliation or revenge is not the right course of action. We no longer dwell on the offense when we relinquish forgiveness, allowing God to take care of the vengeance in a fair, just, and appropriate manner.

Steps to Christian Forgiveness
We recognize that we are sinners in need of forgiveness.
We make the choice to forgive others.
We believe and experience Christ’s loving forgiveness in our lives.
Christ helps us to overcome negative thoughts that are blocking our ability to forgive.
The Holy Spirit empowers us with the right attitude to forgive those who have hurt us.
Trust that God will judge all the wrongs in the world.
When struggling with forgiving others, talk with someone you respect and trust to give you wise counsel, such as your pastor or friend

So dear friends FORGIVE and LIVE!!!

Remember God loves you and so do I

Hugs and gratitude for your friendship

Sharmaine

TIME FOR CHANGE !!!

Well autumn had certainly arrived in Christchurch. I love autumn. Not only am I in the autum of y life but it is an eclectic time of the year, a time of beautiful days and crisp clear nights, a time of seasons change and a time to actually ARISE, SHINE FOR YOUR LIGHT HAS COME.

Girls it is time to get up from that feeling of depression and inertia, time to shake off the cobwebbs and time to NOT have the blueberry muffins.....

Seriously as we breathe the air of change there are so many old things that keep us bound up, so many responsibilities, so many cares....lets cast our burdens on Him, the Master, Jesus is calling us to lay down those things that so easily encumber and ensnare us...when last have you had time for you...let your hair down a little, watched a movie, read a good book.


Stress can cause a host of emotional, spiritual, and physical problems. None of us, however, can avoid stress completely. The key is not to eliminate stress, but to handle it in a way that is godly and productive. Holly G. Miller, in her article for Today’s Christian Woman, said if stress is carefully harnessed, it can create positive results in our lives. These results include increased productivity, greater effectiveness, and renewed energy.
How can we harness stress to make us more productive? What is the difference between stress and worry? How do we deal with the stresses of life without it affecting our physical, emotional, and spiritual health in a negative way? Is it possible stress can be good for us? How can we glorify God despite our stressful circumstances?

I read in Christianity Today that we should first: (adapted to suit)

1. Identify the Stress
2. Discover the eternal principles - Meditate on the Word of God
3. No matter what we are up against God will give us the peace and serenity and strength to face what we are going through
4. Realise you are GOING THROUGH and will not stay there unless you decide to camp there!
5. Find time to be alone with God
6. Worship your way through
7. Adjust your attitude
8. Give yourself time

It is time for change I encourage you today, LET GO and LET GOD.

Remember God loves you and I am so grateful for your friendship

Sharmaine

The following article is located at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2007/marapr/9.22.html
Deborah: A "Do Right" Woman
Judges 4:1-5:31
Liz Curtis Higgs posted 5/11/2007

Judge Debby she was not, dispensing criminals with a sarcastic barb and a wave of her hand. Instead, the biblical Deborah was a renowned prophetess, an honored judge, and an ideal role model for every woman called to lead others.
Three millennia ago Deborah convened her court under a palm tree where "the Israelites came to her to have their disputes decided" (Judges 4:5). Undoubtedly their greatest disputes revolved around their oppressors, the Canaanites. Something had to be done, and Deborah was the woman for the job.
When she ordered Barak, her secretary of defense, to amass an army, Deborah made it clear who reigned as commander in chief: "The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you" (Judges 4:6). Unlike take-charge Jezebel, who sought no one's counsel, levelheaded Deborah obeyed the Lord and insisted his will—not hers—be done.
Even if our "army" is a small group of volunteers or a kitchen full of kids, we can learn from Deborah's leadership style by putting aside any personal agenda, listening for God's clear direction, and letting others know who's really running the show.
Fearless in Battle
As courageous as she was wise, Deborah promised to lure Sisera, the enemy commander, to the riverside and deliver him into Barak's waiting hands.
Levelheaded Deborah obeyed the Lord and insisted his will—not hers—be done.
But Barak balked. "If you go with me, I will go; but if you don't go with me, I won't go" (Judges 4:8). What's the deal? Was he a weak-kneed wimp? Or did Barak think the Lord would bless his efforts only if godly Deborah was by his side?
Dig Deeper
1. How does Psalm 18:31-40 describe David's victory over his enemies? In what ways does that passage parallel Deborah's battle against Sisera's army?
2. According to Deuteronomy 32:35 and Nahum 1:2-3, how can we be sure ungodly souls like Sisera have a tent peg in their future?
3. Read Psalm 47:8, which reminds us that no matter who sits on any earthly throne, only One truly reigns. How does that knowledge comfort you in light of current world events?
Whatever the case, her response was swift. "Very well," Deborah said, "I will go with you" (Judges 4:9). As her modern counterpart, former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once quipped, "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman."
Deborah indeed took action, yet warned Barak that he'd forfeited any claim in the victory: "Because of the way you are going about this, the honor will not be yours, for the Lord will hand Sisera over to a woman" (Judges 4:9).
Keep that prophecy in mind, and be prepared for a few surprises.
Marching Orders
The two armies mustered: ruthless Sisera with iron chariots and countless men pitted against Barak with 10,000 foot soldiers and nary a chariot. Before Barak lost his nerve, Deborah told him, "Go! This is the day the Lord has given Sisera into your hands. Has not the Lord gone ahead of you?" (Judges 4:14).
Once again, Deborah resisted the urge to take credit or take charge, and made the chain of command clear. Oh, that I'd paid attention to Deborah's story a dozen years ago! In my short stint as an employer, overseeing three women who worked for me, I discovered my strong-willed nature didn't always serve me well. My management style was all about "follow me" and "do it my way." Yet as Deborah demonstrates, it's in following the Lord and doing things his way that we truly lead others.
Grand Finale
Just as expected, God's will prevailed on the battlefield: "All the troops of Sisera fell by the sword; not a man was left" (Judges 4:16). The one exception was Sisera himself, who fled on foot and sought refuge inside the tent of a woman named Jael.
Hardly a safe haven, since Jael owned a tent peg, a hammer, and two strong hands …
I'll spare you the gory story of Sisera's demise and jump to Deborah's response. When she learned her prophecy that God would hand Sisera over to a woman had come true, the sound of music rang out across the land. Her Song of Deborah, the oldest remaining fragment of Hebrew literature, was dedicated to the One she loved: "I will make music to the Lord, the God of Israel" (Judges 5:3).
She also sang the praises of those who served her well—"My heart is with Israel's princes, with the willing volunteers among the people" (Judges 5:9)—and she commended Jael at length, calling her "most blessed of tent-dwelling women" (Judges 5:24). A final leadership lesson from Deborah: Acknowledge the efforts of others, rather than pat yourself on the back.
Beginning to end, Deborah was God's woman. If the Lord has called you to lead others, consider taking Deborah's motto as your own: "March on, my soul; be strong!" (Judges 5:21).Liz Curtis Higgs is the author of 25 books, including Embrace Grace (WaterBrook Press). She lives with her husband and their two teenagers in Kentucky. Visit her website: www.lizcurtishiggs.com.

WHAT WILL JESUS WRITE IN THE DUST OF YOUR LIFE

Once again Rebekah gets straight to a woman's heart. We at WFN praise God for her insight that she shares with us!

What Will Jesus Write in the Dust of Your Life?
By Rebekah Montgomery

Struggling to cover her nakedness, the woman writhed in fear and shame before a large, curious crowd. The crowd did not worry her as much as their religious leaders did. Surrounding her in a self-righteous, angry circle, these men already gripped rocks to hurl at her.
Moments before she was in the arms of a man, though not her husband. Then the religious teachers burst in and seized her. What happened to her lover she did not know. All she knew for sure was that these religious teachers were howling for her blood. In all likelihood, she would be dead in minutes.

Frantically, she looked for a way out.
Surrounded. Trapped. No place to run. No place to hide. No way to deny their charge of adultery. She was guilty. Guilty. Everyone now knew her sin. Nothing she could do or say could change her past, cover it up, or wash her shame away. No hope. No escape. She would die for it.
In a way, she wished that the stones would start flying and it would all be over. If she was blessed, the first stones might hit her on the head and knock her senseless. Then she wouldn’t feel the rest of the rocks — just the blackness of death.

But after death, what would come next?

Soon — very soon — she would face God. Then what? She had no hope of mercy. No escape. No place to hide. Only endless punishment.

One of the woman’s accusers addressed the Rabbi from Galilee teaching the crowd: “This woman was caught in the very act of adultery,” he shouted. “Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons.

“What do you say should be her punishment?” There was a note of challenge in his voice as if he was trying to trap the Rabbi.

The Rabbi’s attention turned to the woman. He wasn’t looking at her body. Or even her sin. He was looking at her soul.
Her tears flowed as she waited for Him to pronounce judgment. If only there was forgiveness for her. She was sorry, so sorry. If only she had a chance to live her life again. She would live differently. If only. If only.

The Rabbi stooped, reaching toward the ground. She automatically flinched. Was He searching for a rock to begin her execution?
To her amazement, He smoothed the dirt at His feet and began writing in it, His fingerprints tracing words.

The woman and the mob watched in stunned silence. Something profound was happening but the woman did not know what it was.

Then the religious teachers crowded around to read what He was writing.
Jesus’ Letter to the Guilty

In a millennium past, Almighty God reached out of heaven, took a handful of dust, formed it, breathed life into it, and created a man. Now, Jesus, the one and only God-man, was doing the same; He was writing words of life in the dirt and creating a new woman.
What did He write? Some have suggested that He wrote the secret sins of her accusers.

Whatever words He wrote, it wasn’t words the self-religious wanted to read. It condemned their devout but dirty hearts. They fled from Him — guilty, condemned, but unforgiven.
But for the repentant sinner, He wrote words of life and spoke them aloud:

Neither do I condemn you. Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Getting Honest, Getting Forgiven
For the admitted sinner, whatever mistakes we have made, whatever sins we have committed, Jesus bends down and writes across our past: “Neither do I condemn you. I can take your dirt and form you into a new creation. Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Paul put it this way: “You show that you are a letter from Christ … written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.” (2 Corinthians 3:3-NIV)

When you stand before Jesus, what will He write in the dust that is your life?
The self-righteous get left in the dust — unforgiven. But the admitted sinner gets forgiven and renewed.
© Rebekah Montgomery 2008For reprint requests, contact Rebekah at her website,

Marriage

Dear Friends

Marriage Question: How am I supposed to make a marriage work when my husband won't try? He won't talk and if I try to tell him something that is bothering me, he gets mad at me. There is no intimacy in our marriage as that is one of the problems that I tried to talk to him about yesterday. I tried to tell him that I wanted to be treated like a woman, not one of the guys and he got mad at me. He never just tells me that I'm pretty or that he loves me, never just gives me a hug or anything that is considered sweet. All affection is out the window and if I try to talk to him about it, I am the bad guy and he gets mad and refuses to talk to me. It makes me feel like I don't know how I ended up married to this guy, I just want to be happy and right now I am not at all.

Guidance: I understand your feelings. We women like to feel loved and appreciated by our husbands, and when they fail to "show" us that appreciation we start to become dejected and discontented. But let’s back up moment. Is there anything at all that we could do about the way we feel in marriage? Maybe we could be the initiator and try and be more caring towards our husband anyway. Or, maybe we can express ourselves in a productive way and let our husband’s know how we feel?

If we don’t do anything about our circumstances we become more and more discontented within ourselves and we’ll act out with those feelings in our behavior, and then our husbands REALLY don’t want to give us any affection. Uh oh, now what did I do? This is how breakdowns in communication get started. I know that for many wives it seems we’re the only ones who do anything for the marriage, but that’s mostly because our husbands really don’t think there is a problem, or they’re not sure themselves how to repair the problems.

It’s important in marriage that husband and wife take time out of their busy schedules to share a part of themselves with each other every single day! Our marriage can’t run on empty words. All marriages (no marriage is immune) go through periods where couples simply lose touch with one another. Why? Because couples take each other for granted. They don’t do it on purpose – it just happens overtime.

To stay spiritually fit and healthy we must study God’s Word daily and pray and get close with God because how can we have a relationship with Christ if we do not communicate with Him. The analogy is the same for marriage. You must daily share a part of yourself with your spouse every single day. Without the spiritual maintenance we lose touch with God - without the marriage maintenance, we lose touch with the one we chose to be married to for life.

Marriage needs love shown and acted out. The words "I love you" are nice to hear but couples in marriage also want to be shown love. Intimacy between couples gets lost somewhere out in left field because of the lack of togetherness that marriage needs to flourish. I’m not talking about sex here either; I’m talking about intimacy. Anytime couples are spending time together, whether it is on a picnic, a walk in the woods, playing a board game, etc, it constitutes together time, which is intimacy.

If your weekdays are busy and hectic then the weekend should be set aside just for the two of you, and if you have children include them, but make sure there is alone time for mom and dad too. Unfortunately some husbands just don’t know that their wives are unhappy about anything because she doesn’t speak up. I used to be that way. One thing that I have found in my own 24-year marriage is husbands can’t read our minds. We ladies can huff and puff, clatter around in the kitchen, throw dishes at the wall, etc, and our husbands will still be oblivious to anything wrong with the marriage. They just see it as us having a bad day. We have to sit them down and communicate our feelings to them in a good way.

Be assertive (not aggressive) with your feelings and tell your husband just how you feel, without having a tone in your voice. Be kind, nice, and loving. Remember our purpose for marriage is to be giving and loving, even if we are not always treated with that same respect. I know it’s often difficult to be nice to people when they have not been so nice to us, but it is the right way to do. Showing principled acts of love is not always going to be easy but if you first be the shining light on the hilltop, your will be rewarded for your goodness, so shine on.

You mentioned that he gets mad at you when you try to tell him something that is bothering you. I’ll tell you why. Your husband feels that you are blaming him for your unhappiness and that is why he gets mad. It does not make it right that he gets angry with you, but it is a defense mechanism. Your husband does not want to take the responsibility of a failing marriage. That is why you need to express your self in a different tactic by communicating without putting your negative feelings back onto your husband. Express yourself as being a part of the problems within the marriage. No one person is ever to blame for the disarray of a marriage.

Talk to your husband, let him know how much you appreciate all that he does for you, and spend more quality time together. Let your husband feel good about who he is as a man, husband, provider, etc, by reminding him of why you married him. Watch how later you will most likely receive some extra attention you weren’t expecting. Go out on dates, rent a hotel room for the weekend, go for walks in the woods or by the lake, in the mountains, but don’t allow your feelings to control you. Unhappiness is something that can be reversed by our loving actions.

Nine times out of ten, when you talk to your husband in a loving manner, expressing yourself and how you feel, he will come to realize he has not been the loving and giving husband he should be. And just because your husband has stopped giving affection does not mean that you cannot be the initiator and give your husband affection. A healthy marriage runs on all four batteries, physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental – make sure that all four batteries are recharged at least once a week. See the articles below for more about how you can bring more intimacy in your marriage.


Article Resources:
How To Bring Intimacy Back into Your Marriage
Marriage is a holy union....so many people have so many problems in this area. I have posted ANGIE'S MARRIAGE COLUMN FEBRUARY 2008 for you today. May it help you, bless you and restore you. Hugs Sharmaine

Dr. David B. Hawkins
source: Crosswalk

Fire is one of those elements that can either be our friend, keeping us warm and dry, or our foe, creating incomparable damage. Likewise, the tongue can either encourage or destroy. As the Apostle James said, "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness." (James 3: 9) James goes on to say the tongue is like a spark that can set a mighty forest ablaze.

Fire creates searing heat. Perhaps more destructively, however, is the fact that fire consumes the oxygen needed to survive. Fire robs us of life just as the tongue can set a mortal blaze in our marriages, stealing vitality from our life.
For any fire to continue it needs fuel. Thankfully, fire cannot burn on its own. I received a vivid lesson about fire and fuel one warm summer day when I was about ten years old. I was lying in the tall grass behind my house with a couple of buddies. With stalks of dried grass hanging out of our mouths we were telling stories and enjoying ourselves. Life couldn't have been sweeter.
To ten-year olds, those stalks of grass were temptingly similar to a forbidden cigarette and one of us wondered what it would be like to "smoke" a few of those blades of grass. It all seemed innocent enough. We gathered our "cigarettes" and proceeded to light up. Suddenly, without warning, a spark caught in a bundle of dried grass, and then another, until we were faced with an inferno beyond our control. Realizing the potential danger of the fire, we ran for the help of my dad. Three screaming boys immediately caught his attention. We formed a "bucket brigade" and were able to douse the fire and get on to the next important issue—explaining all of this to my very angry father.
An innocent outing, an impulsive act, a furious outburst of potential danger. We contained the problem quickly and limited the damage.
Like that field, a marriage can become tinder dry at times, ready for a spark to ignite things. A season of dryness, or ongoing conflict, can set the stage for an angry outburst of deadly proportions.
"But, I just can't help it," twenty-seven year old Karen said recently. "I just get so mad that I say what's on the top of my mind. I know I can be extremely hurtful. We have called each other the most horrible names, and are embarrassed about it. We both have biting tongues, and know it."

Karen and Doug, clients of mine, were newly married and already having problems. I watched as Doug nodded his head to Karen's rendition of the problem. I asked them to explain more about their problem.

"My husband and I can't seem to agree on anything. I mention to him that I want more help around the house, and somehow we end up in World War III. I hate it."
"It's true," Doug said soberly. "We don't know how it happens, but when we fight, which is not all the time, it gets bad. We say things we would never say at other times, and we've nearly called it quits because of it."
"Well," I said slowly. "I have a saying—'If it's predictable, it's preventable."
"It certainly is predictable," Karen said wryly. "The preventable part is questionable."
I could clearly see the pain Karen and Doug were in. They had hurt each other deeply with, impetuous, ill-spoken words.
"It takes a lot of self-control to slow things down enough to see what you two are doing so you can change the pattern."
"Doug is just as tired of my biting tongue as I am," Karen said.
"I can get pretty sarcastic and angry, too," Doug replied, "and we're both tired of our bickering."
"Good," I said. "Being tired of how things are going is a great place for God to work in our lives. We have to get to the point where we are at our wits end—then God can step in."
We spent the rest of our session exploring the roots of their anger and biting tongues. We discussed how their anger and sharp words had caused tremendous pain in their marriage, to the point where they had nearly separated several times. It had scared both of them, and they wanted to learn new tools.
One of the tools I shared was "speaking from your most vulnerable self." This requires slowing down the process and exploring what other feelings could be shared rather than anger—which so often is hurtful. We discussed how anger is a secondary emotion, and how we need to look beneath the surface and learn to share other more vulnerable emotions that lay below the surface.
We discussed common underlying feelings known as GIFT:
• Guilt: anger often covers feelings of unexpressed guilt.
• Inferiority: anger often covers feelings of insecurity or inferiority.
• Fear: this is often an emotion that is difficult to express, but can be powerful when expressed appropriately.
• Trauma: conflicts often reawaken previous trauma in your life, creating hypersensitivity to an issue.
Karen and Doug seemed relieved to hear that their problems were normal and could be remedied. They agreed to slow things down when they became defensive, to guard their tongues and to look deeply to see if there were other, more vulnerable emotions needing expression. They agreed to take time outs when needed. It would take work, but they agreed to take these new insights home to practice.
Are you using an untamed tongue in your marriage? Have you said things you regret later? Consider taming your tongue. Recognize and own your primary feelings, practice some of the tools in this article, and allow God to heal problems without anger and harsh words. You'll be glad you did.

KIM'S TESTIMONY

Testimony

Having gained employment from my Placement with a company in Wellington. I found myself manning their reception desk in the main office in Wellington, not a position I aspired to. However with a wedding coming up and a desire to contribute to our lives together I engaged in the job. It was to be for 6 weeks and challenge was the name of the game in an environment that was constantly changing.

I should be used to change as my whole life up to that point had been about change. I had been outside of church for the last 3 years due to several bad experiences that finally saw me give up in disgust with the church and all but turn my back on God.

During my years with the church I was a solo Mum of a child who did not fit into what was considered the ‘norm’ thus leading to being ostracised and labelled as a family unit.

However I have also been on the receiving end of God giving back to me the years the locusts had eaten and I believe that due to the last 20 years of loss and failure that I have come into a period of jubilee and God has begun to restore the education I had to abandon due to my life being swallowed in caring for my son and burn-out and work.

At 44 I am 3 years through a Degree in Social Work due to graduate this year, I no longer have to worry about where my next meal will come from or how I will pay the bills, in fact now I don’t give either a thought, I accidentally ended up with not one but 2 jobs both paying more than the supermarket job I once held that I had to work 60 hours a week in to survive. Both these jobs meant experience in Social Work was more concentrated and gave me work through-out the holiday period in the lead up to my wedding.

I have a man called to be my husband in the true sense of the word to enhance and add to my life after enduring years of abuse and unfaithfulness at the hands of another man whose mission in life was to take as much as he could from my identity. I stood this for 5 years before I moved on with my son.

These changes continued and snowballed despite my not giving God the time of Day, He in His infinite goodness still blessed my life.

One of the changes was in counsellors during my time at the company I was employed with, moving from one to another site to cover shortages; I met George and Sharmaine when they arrived for a stint of two weeks with the Wellington office, George to have a much needed break and Sharmaine to work as counsellor for the two weeks.

It was not until 2-3 days later that I discovered they were Pastors of a small church in Christchurch. I wasted no time in telling them my thoughts on the church and trying (in vain) to convince them I was tuff. I had always wondered why there seemed to be a connection between Sharmaine and myself, like we had always known each other and the feeling of warmth and friendship. Then I found out they were Pastors and “Oh the penny drops.”

The next two weeks felt like they had come just for me, they hadn’t and I struggled with the feeling that I was being egotistical until they explained that sometimes God will send people half way round the world just to talk to one person.

The time for me at this company in Wellington had started with me being incredibly grumpy and ended with me feeling incredibly grumpy but with the difference being I had made friends with people who had accepted me warts and all and I think God maybe wanted to get my attention just to say “Hey I’m still here and I love you.”

The time came to a close when they had had dinner with my partner and I and I had made plans to attend a conference in Christchurch in June. Yahoo I haven’t been to Christchurch since I was 20 and now I was going back to see people I now know and to meet others whom I will know soon.

God has His eye on the sparrow.

BROTHER LAWRENCE

Today I want to talk about Brother Lawrence, he was a lame monk working in the monastery kitchen.

He said, " For me the time of action does not differ from the time of prayer, and in the noise and clutter of my kitchen, while several persons are calling on me for many different things, I possess God in as great tranquility as when on my knees."

Can you imagine what his life was like, in the middle of everything he learnt the art of integration (incorporating the sacred with the secular). This is truely an art we need to learn as we rush around in our every day lives.

Being busay on the outside yet grounded and still, on the inside. May your week see you in the secret place, the shadow of the Almighty, swaddled in His love for you.

Remember Jesus loves you and I am so grateful for your friendship

Sharmaine

MARRIED

Our daughter got married on the 29th of December. What a flurry of excitement, our house seemed overflowing with giggling flower girls, chattering bridesmaids, then it was over all too quickly.

George and I returned home to a house which seemed to echo with our voices and we found ourselves sipping a cup of (very welcome) tea and wondering how Kerry-Lee grew up so quickly.

Seasons change in our lives, and although our son is still at home, (not for very long), (there seems to be another wedding looming) George and I have a new found freedom. Tiome to BE again.

Hows grateful we are to God for our son-in-law and his wonderful family who have embraced our daughter with such generosity of love.

God is indeed good!

Love and hugs

Sharmaine

MIRIAM

I have lately been thinking a lot about Miriam. So many thoughts have rushed through my mind when I think of her....

Firstly as a little girl following her mothers instructions, following her brother downstream to see what was to become of him, then later on we meet her as a worship leader, following the Hebrews successful crossing of the Red Sea.

She was a strong woman, a natural leader. As is often the case with some folk their very strength becomes their very weakness.

This forerunner, this woman who had ascended to the highest post ever held by a woman, had surpassed her boundaries. She overestimated herself and considered herself as on the same level as her brother Moses. In her pride she undermined his authority.

Miriam was a woman at the top, an exceptional woman, when jealousy crept into her heart and she asked if Moses was indeed the leader, were the 3 of them not on the same level. (Paraphrased)

However sadly Miriam slowly shifted away from God's control in her life to self control. I believe that this took place so subtly that perhaps she did not realise the change before it was too late.

Perhaps if she had ernestly searched her heart honestly in time she would have prevented God's judgement in her life, perhaps she would not have overstepped her boundaries by overestimating herself.

Miriam was a God gifted leader who had held an inmportant position in her nation.

If we are in poitions of leadership, we may also fail. Let us learn from her mistake, let us NEVER MURMUR asgainst God given authority. Many years of faithfulness do not armour us against sin. Every day evil can threaten to overtake you if you allow it.

Draw near to the Son, look full in His wonderful face, guard your heart, above all guard your heart for out of it the issues of life flow.

Remember Jesus and I love you

Hugs and blessings

Your friend

Sharmaine

The Girls

Young WFN Girls

ZIPPORAH

I have had Zipporah on my min d recently. Exodus 2:21 tells us, "And Moses was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Moses Zipporah his daughter." KJV

So Moses the murderer to be leader/saviour of his nation, does not marry a young Jewish girl, devout and strong in their faith, he marries the daughter of a Midianite priest named Reuel or Jethro as we know him.


We are never told if she converted to the faith, and in fact her only action we know of is recorded in the scripture in the circumcision of one of her sons. The Bible tells us God was angered at Moses' disobedience, in fact God was prepared to kill him. Zipporah concluded it was because Moses had not circumsied one of their sons and unhappily did the job herself.


Zipporah is last mentioned briefly, in Exodus 18:2, when Jethro returns her and their sons to Moses.


We know Moses was spoken about because of his wife, and it made me think how we react when our husbands are critised because of how we look, or how we speak or how we perform.


How do we feel in the ministry when we are under the magnifying glass of the church?


Scholars also believe Moses left his wife and children with Jethro when he made the dangerous journey to Egypt. We see Zipporah did God's will only when her husbands life was threatened-when push came to shove....

Girls do we do the same? Will we wait until we face serious trouble before we obey, or will be always obey God?

To be the one to follow your husband is not always easy, often this jpourney is fraught with heartache and dispair, but never ever give up. "Keep your eyes on Jesus, look full in His wonderful face" if our eyes are on Jesus, on the Son then the shadows stay behind us!


Remember Jesus and I love you

Hugs and Blessings